The spirit of a Blog depends upon the real presence of soul to soul intimacy; taking joy in the revelations of each other.

Friday, April 16, 2010

'Stop All the Clocks' ....


As all my photo albums and treasured old pictures are now packed ready for the big move, I’ve been pondering over the last few days what I could present for a worthy Sepia Saturday offering. Then a little incident I witnessed yesterday recalled to me an old photo I had stuck inside my jewellery box. I discovered it under my dressing table where it must have escaped when I was packing all my pictures. This photo was one of a shoe box full given to me by my mother after my twin Great Aunts, Lucille and Claire, died last summer, three weeks apart, at the age of ninety-five.

The photo is of a funeral procession. The writing on the back offers very little information about the occasion. It merely states 'Ralph 1936', and it appears to be in Pembroke. The Great Aunts would have been twenty-two at that time. Claire didn’t marry until her thirties, considered old for wedlock in those days. Apparently, Lucille did have a love interest when she was a young woman, but the fellow died. My mother remembers this being spoken of only very occasionally, and then always in hushed tones and out of Aunt Lucille's hearing. It is a mystery as to why this particular photo, amongst dozens of old family ones, was kept for so many years.

The twins lived their entire lives in Pembroke, Ontario ... my mother’s family homestead. Great Aunt Lucille never married and devoted her life in equal portions to the Catholic Church and to the Ontario phone system. She worked as one of the very first switch operators from the age of fourteen until she retired at sixty-five years old. Great Aunt Claire did marry, but she and Uncle Mel never had any children. After he died some thirty years ago, Aunt Lucille moved in with Aunt Claire. These non-identical twins, one short and plump, the other short and thin, enjoyed interrupting, contradicting, and bickering with each other on a daily basis, but they loved and cared for one another devotedly.

Yesterday, I was parked downtown and as I came out of a shop, I saw a funeral procession go by. An old man was standing at the curb, and as the procession drove by, he took off his hat and held it against his heart. He didn't put his hat back on when the cars were past him, either. He kept it off until they were out of sight. The old gentleman saw me watching and told me that back in the day, all the men would remove their hats when a funeral went by. Cars would pull over to the side of the road and people would stop what they were doing. He looked at me with the sentient eyes which have long since pierced through cloud cover. He radiated the kind of genuine peace which can only come from inner steadfastness.

Little unnamed emotions loosened and flowed within me as I viewed this gentle stranger. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see everyone stop, to see the hats come off one by one, to see the women hush their children. Just for a moment, the whole world would stop, like you think it should when a loved one dies. I remember experiencing this feeling so strongly when my beloved brother died.

It seems things are different now. We are in a hurry. Life is more complicated and seemingly can’t stop. That’s too bad. Perhaps the nicest thing you can do for someone who has lost a part of their world, is let your own world stop, if only for a moment. This pithy lesson was brought home to me quietly, softly, by a small, stooped, elderly man with his head bent reverently, holding his hat over his heart.

Stop All the Clocks - W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one:
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods:
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

17 comments:

  1. Choked me up. And the poem is so moving. The great-aunts sound like fascinating characters. I can relate because I had a "nest of aunts" - three of them - never married, living in Winnipeg. We visited them every Sunday for tea and they had a similar affectionate bickering, loving relationship you describe your aunts sharing. Who can explain that your aunts died so close together?

    Lovely writing.

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  2. Could Ralph possibly have been Lucille's love interest?

    By-the-way, this is one of my favourite poems.

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  3. Yes.I have similar memories in England. Men stopping & taking off their hats as a mark of respect. It doesnt happen now.We are too busy rushing God Knows Where..........

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  4. That was a thought that went trough my mind as I drove in my mother's recent funeral procession. I, too, remember cars pulling over and gentlemen stopping and removing their hats a a funeral passed by.

    Alas, those days of dignity and respect are long gone.

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  5. oh that brought tears and I will copy that poem for my own collection which I keep in a binder, hardcopy! This was interesting reading and thinking about the funerals of ago--a perfect picture to go with the poem and the memories.

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  6. That's an amazing funeral procession, with all those mourners walking behind in the snow. Enjoyed the Auden piece.

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  7. I imagined the poem being about Aunt Lucilles's "Ralph".
    When someone in your family dies it's such an earth shattering event that it seems strange that the clocks don't stop.

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  8. Oh, thank you so much for this! I am unspeakably moved by your writing, your story, the Auden poem, the gentle stranger with the sentient eyes. It has all been a gift to me on this Sunday morning as I mourn my own father's death and my mother's raging Alzheimer's disintegration.
    This gift has come to me simply because you took a moment to visit my blog and leave a comment there. You never know whose lives you will touch by taking a moment to speak to another in cyberspace. Those comments matter a great deal. Thank you.

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  9. A wonderful post -- the aunts, the mysterious funeral photo, and your recent experience. And the Auden poem which I've always loved.

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  10. McHargue: A nest of aunts describes it perfectly. It's amazing, and wonderful, to us that the died only three weeks apart after 95 years of living.

    Martin: You may be right that Ralph was Lucille's young love. It is one of my favourite poems, too. It strikes a chord every single time.

    Tony: Yes. Too much rushing ... we often don't take the time to allow the moments to seep into our hearts.

    Barry: I may be foolish, but I live in hope that the days of dignity and respect will return.

    Pat: Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it is such a beautiful, poignant poem. It never fails to move me.

    Willow: It does convey a sense of sadness, a dearth, doesn't it? The snow, the soberly clad people walking ...

    Barbara: I like to think that the poem does transcribe Lucille's unsopken feelings for her young man's loss.

    Enchanted Oak: You're so very welcome. I love the way the ripples of connection both touch and nourish us. I look forward to visiting you often.

    Vicki: Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad Auden's poem resonates with so many.

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  11. A very nice blog. The story of the one aunt losing her guy is heartbreaking. We had a Miss Taylor in our school who never married but when they published a centennial book about the town, She and her boyfriend who lost his life in the war were in the book. She loved him to the end of her life. Your post is wonderful and touching to cause thought.

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  12. Beautiful post--well written & moving; the anecdote about the older gentleman with the hat does make one stop & think about the changing attitudes. & that poem by Auden is also beautiful.

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  13. Hello nana jo

    I have enjoyed reading the diverse presentations in the Sepia sat postings and have found the pics so varied and interesting.

    Your story is a great one. I wonder how many women are spinsters these days...

    I remember seeing funeral processions as a kid in my home city. I like the walking procession common place in many European countries.

    Happy days

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  14. L.D. Burgus: Thank you. What a touching little history about your Miss Taylor. So often we don't know people's stories until after they are gone.

    John Hayes: Thank you. Sometimes I think we've lost graciousness in our lives. Auden must have been a man who loved very deeply to have been able to write so movingly about grief.

    Delwyn: Spinsters appear to be a dying breed. I had three maiden aunts and several spinster teachers, and they all added to my life immeasurably.

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  15. Lovely post (but I now expect nothing else of you!). There is a delight in those old photographs which are tucked away in jewelry boxes or in the back of books. The more out of the way and seemingly inconsequential they are the more I am drawn to them.

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  16. "Just for a moment, the whole world would stop, like you think it should when a loved one dies." Exactly. Then, they (and we) just start moving again, because that's all that we can do.

    Great post.

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  17. Alan: Thank you. That was very kind. I. too, am drawn to the seemingly inconsequential.

    Silver Fox: Wow. Your picture really matches your name! You're right: we just start moving again, and there's an especial grace in that ...

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